would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
