also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
