Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
