u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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