she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
