I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
