She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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