I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize