You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
