you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize