Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
