I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
