I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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