their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's the barista slut.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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