I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize