I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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