Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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