remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
