Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
