Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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