things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she smelled like a LAN party
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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