I've ID'd the nipple biter.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
