id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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