walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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