And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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