Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
