I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
