i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize