u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
