i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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