i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
