There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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