I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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