I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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