Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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