the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
