East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jerry, you need to find god
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
