we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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