he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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