She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
