Kiss
Puke
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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