I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
