4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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