Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
worst night to have a conscience
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
