Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize