Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She even gives head with a lisp.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize