Pants 0. Shit 1.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
