with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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