I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
