1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
