Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
