You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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