Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
