Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
