Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
