all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
